Becoming a Worldly Person

About 10 years ago my life changed forever. Together with my wife and baby girl, I left behind dozens of family members and scores of friends, and moved hastily to a new life in Atlanta, Georgia. Recent events have reminded me that without that move I would never have come close to achieving the accomplishments that define my life today. I am celebrating tonight and reminding you that sometimes, all you need to break out of a miserable situation is the courage to make the first big leap.

The year was 1998 and luckily for me the job market for Java programmers was white-hot! It took only about two weeks from the time I decided to move to secure a new position, even including a short flight down to Atlanta to scout out neighborhoods. Once the wheels were in motion everything moved very quickly. The new company paid for our relocation and we were on our way.

A few days before we actually left, I clearly remember walking up the brick stairs of the hundred-year old house that I grew up in and ringing the doorbell, knowing it would be one of the last times I would do so again. The front door opened and I drew a deep breath as I stepped through the old, creaky-floored foyer and sat down on the sofa. My parents accepted the surprise news sadly, but with a sense of resignation. Did they see it coming or were they just shocked? I had given them no warning and even worse I was taking away their first and only granddaughter.

What many people don’t realize, even many of my close friends and associates, is that the sudden relocation was not just a savvy career move – it was actually an important part of an escape plan. My wife and I had decided to leave, for the sake of our sanity, to put distance not just between our immediate family and us, but more importantly, to gain some breathing room. Freedom beckoned loudly and with great appeal after a lifetime of involuntary servitude. We had been born into, but were about to break free of a cultish organization devilishly determined to undermine our happiness: Jehovah’s Witnesses!

The following will undoubtedly sound harsh to anyone unfamiliar with the machinations of fundamentalist religious institutions, but serves to illustrate the gravity of the situation: My explicit instructions to my mom and dad were clear: “Respect our privacy! If you want to see Taylor or us again, do not tell anyone in the congregation where we’ve moved to or how to get in contact with us.”

At the time, I was particularly concerned that the elders would “come after us”, so to speak. But what could they do? This is still a free country isn’t it? Not against people that wield mind control and spiritual damnation as their weapons. To face the elders would be to risk disfellowshipping for apostasy, excommunication from all of our friends and family still stuck inside the church. You see, willful abandonment of the faith is the absolute worst sin that one of Jehovah’s Witnesses can commit.

Since we were trying to leave the church, wouldn’t excommunication just help us be done with it more conclusively? The thing is, at the time we were alone in our journey out of the cult. Almost all of our immediate family and friends were still in the church – speaking to or associating with someone who is disfellowshipped is also an offense worthy of excommunication – to allow it would introduce a lifetime impediment to open and free communication with most of our friends and family. I assure you that the threat of shunning is a very effective tool for mind-control.

Luckily ten years ago there was a loophole, which may not exist anymore. Just disappear! After temporary confusion, the congregation elders would basically shrug and continue on with their lives. So that’s exactly what we did. We did not play by their rules. We used our intellect, summoned the necessary courage and made our own rules. Importantly, we rejected the will of the faithful and discrete slave, a term that the Watchtower uses to describe the group of old men that govern their religion, based on a perverted translation and interpretation of Matthew 24:14.

In that verse Jesus asks: “Who is that faithful and discreet slave, that took care of his master’s goods until his return? He will be rewarded... blah, blah, blah” (Quote from memory and probably off a bit) According to the Jehovah’s Witnesses, the governing body of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is that slave, of course! Because they say that they are! It’s pure, unadulterated circular-reasoning bullshit of the finest vintage, and believe it or not it’s the only text in the bible that the whole farcical JW house of cards is built upon.

That I’m not able to erase that bible verse from my mind, despite years of hardcore atheism is a testament to how often it was drilled forcefully into my unwilling self.

Perhaps today it is easier to fade away from the cult, but ten years ago I was certain that we would face some degree of persecution from the local elders in Georgia, if they could find us. That’s why under a veil of secrecy and nine-hundred miles of interstate later, I began a new life in the sunny south of this country, asked everyone I met to just call me “Obie” and got busy living the rest of my life as a worldly person.

Now the term “worldly person” is what Jehovah’s Witnesses cult members call non-believers and is always used in a derogatory sense. Ironically, to everyone else it means, “experienced and sophisticated”. In that spirit, tonight I raise my cup in a toast to everyone that has had the courage to break free from the shackles of fundamentalist religious belief, of the Jehovah’s Witness variety or otherwise. I salute your courage and resolve and wish you the best of success in all your endeavors.

Comments

[Craig McClanahan]

Congratulations for recognizing that you were in an environment where human leaders had corrupted their own teaching of what "correct" behavior is supposed to be. My personal beliefs correspond with the Christian Church that my wife and I attend (no denominational exclusions, no prejudice against those who might disagree with some or all of the Christian principles, no "sacred exalted", no "you have to listen to *me* or you go to Hell"). The only "membership" requirements are to believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior, and accept that belief publicly (typically through baptism). If you've got questions or concerns, nobody is going to attack or shun you ... "love your neighbor" can be a reality.

If (and I hope when) you would like to understand more about the *real* message of Christianity, give me a shout at the email on this comment. I would be happy to talk, chat, email, and/or put you in contact with some local resources that can help you understand that what you experienced was an aberration, not the actual concerns of the God Who Loves You.

There is more to the "religious world" than the idiots and tyrants that you have unfortunately been subjected to.

[Chris Obdam]

Atheists all over the place here in Holland Obie :-) You know how to find us.. What a story, good to get the message out!

[Daniel Sundstrom]

Congratulations!

People in my immediate vicinity have made the same journey. I hope you get to stay away from them.

Cults, no go. Rails, go-go-go.

[Ed Spencer]

It's amazing on a post about leaving a religious cult there is a commenter urging us to join another one!

I only know one or two really religious people (as opposed to people who merely identify themselves as broadly Christian and/or go to church every so often), and although they're both *nice* people, they have some shockingly intolerant views informed by their "holy" books. Not good.

[Matt Darby]

Atheist++

I've lost family members to the cult. It's a shame that religion (which is supposedly designed for love) almost always drives people apart.

Good for you Obie!

[MB]

Feeling for you Obie, glad you made it out. Well done, and good luck for the future. Wishing you peace and happiness, cheers.

[Stephen Tudor]

Wow, Obie. I'm happy for you that you were able to make a stand and get out of that toxic environment. It's really so understandable that you went the exact opposite way in your faith, given that you were raised JW. My own beliefs notwithstanding, hats off to you for having the courage to make a change in your life and the lives of your family.

[Matthew Schultz]

Obie +1

[Dan Bernier]

@Ed

> It's amazing on a post about leaving a religious cult there is a commenter urging us to join another one!

Right on. The problem isn't whether the church people (or the atheists) are nice, it's how much a person lets his mind be governed by others.

A spiritual life generally means looking beyond the world, and taking some different perspectives, but this is a very personal thing. When an organization turns one person's journey into rules, and asks (or forces) people to comply, it degenerates into mind control.

@Obie Thanks for sharing your story. Brave choice. "Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?" - Pema Chödrön

[Gary Haran]

Props to you and thanks for telling your story. I lived a similar moment in my life but it wasn't courage but chance that got me away from the torment. I had been offered a job in Paris and only there, away from family, could I explore those doubts that shape my way of thinking today.